Already Gone
by Minschen
Summary: Bella left Edward five years ago. Since then he struggles with a broken heart and a broken soul. Fate brings them together after years of suffering. Will Edward forgive her and learn her reasons for leaving? Is Bella ready to be forgiven? Rated M for language
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer** : I don't own any of the characters or their story or the song mentioned. Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. Already Gone belongs to Sleeping At Last.

Hi, this is my first fanfic in English. I'm from Germany and English is not my native language. So, I apologize for mistakes in grammar, pronouncing and slang.

I also have no idea of the school systems or places in the USA. Most of the places I'll mention are fictional. I only use my knowledge of other fanfics and stories. I hope you all don't mind but I wanted to write A fanfic in English and want to leave the characters in the known sourrounding.

I have no idea where the story will go. I listened to the song yesterday and I had the idea of the epilogue. So, I can't guarantee anything at this point. I don't have a beta, so this is the first version ;)

I hope you enjoy reading and I'm happy for comments and feedback.

* * *

 _ **Epiloque**_

The spotlights blinded his sight. Nervously, he sat down on the chair in front of the piano on the tiny stage. He wiped his sweaty hands on his jeans. The pub was stuffy and small but full of people. Why did he let himself be convinced again? Jasper saw it as a kind of therapy for processing the past. A past that haunted him the last five years and it wouldn't let go. Not even in his sleep. He couldn't remember when he last had slept properly. He felt so empty and burned out. When he looked at himself in the mirror, he looked in a pale face with dark circles around his eyes and sunken cheeks.

Clearing his throat, he looked out into the audience. At first the spotlights made it difficult to identify any familiar faces. But then he saw all of them. In the front row sat his best friend Jasper, his sister Alice, his brother Emmett and his wife Rosalie. Even his parents came. All the people who have put up with him in the past five years. He was a heavy burden for all of his friends and his family. At least that's what he thought. They would never agree. They all loved him and would never mind, being there for him, never given up. But he was stuck to deep. The only person who was able to free him, was gone. Disappeared from his and their lives.

It was a strange image to see his parents sitting in this shabby surrounding. His mother smiled at him. But her smile didn't reach her green, soft eyes. Esme's heart broke with his five years ago. She was like a daughter for both of his parents. Music was the only thing that helped him through this time. He wrote so many songs about them and their time together. But there was only one, which reflected everything. His emotions, her feelings, their time together, the break, the pain. It's what made it so difficult to stand on this stage, performing the song for the first time and to open his soul to strangers. "It will help you", Jasper said. "You can let her go and try to be free again." _I will never be free again_ , he thought bitterly.

The Open-Mic-Night in Pitcher's Pub in Seattle was legendary. There were mostly very talented people on this stage and also one or the other record deal was made in these rooms. Today he was sitting on this stage and had to show his talent. Or rather his greatest weakness, he thought. For some people a performance like that was a simple task. For him, it was one of the most difficult steps in his young life. Within seconds, he would reveal his wounded soul to the world.

Heavy stuff for a man his age. Sometimes, he felt like 109 years old.

Over the last five years he wrote the song. Again and again one more line until it hurt too much. It wasn't just his own words that he used for the lyrics. It was a combination of his feelings and her last words from the letter.

The letter she wrote to him because she couldn't look at him as she walked out of his life forever. He kept the letter in his wallet as a permanent reminder. He also couldn't let go of it because it was the last thing he could hold on to. Some people would say, that women come and go and friends are forever. He lost both. Rosalie often rolled her eyes and thought, Edward overreacted. But he couldn't stop his emotions and feelings and he had no strength to start over. Not yet.

His heart began to race and he felt sweaty. "Get your shit together, Cullen!" he mumbled into his beard. He should have shaved. He almost could hear his mother reminding him of his manners. Closing his eyes, he breathed in deeply. _Now or never._

"Hi, my name is Edward and my song is Already Gone."

His hands moved over the keys starting the first notes of the familiar melody.

 _Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all the memories they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye  
Even with our face held high  
It never would have worked out right  
We were never meant for do or die_

He had suspected that it would be difficult, but the pain that washed over him now hit him hard. Jasper nodded in his direction and told him in silence that he would make it. Edward closed his eyes and shut out everything around him.

 _I didn't want us to burn out, I  
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop_

He saw her face in his memory. Her smile, her eyes. He saw their time together like a movie in front of him.

 _I want you to know  
It doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
But someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone_

These were by far the hardest words he had to sing. Her words from the letter without exception.

 _Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find another  
Doesn't always make you want to cry  
It started with the perfect kiss then  
We could feel the poison set in  
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive_

The worst part was, she loved him and he loved her. But it wasn't enough. Tears ran down his cheeks. But he couldn't care less. Fuck the people who thought he was a pussy.

 _I want you to know  
It doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
But someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone  
So I'm already gone_  
 _  
Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all the memories they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye…_

That was it. He made it… He felt as if he had run a marathon but kind of relived. Emotionally exhausted and so so tired. Slowly he opened his eyes to get used to the bright light. His gaze went through the crowd. To his friends and his parents. All of them looking so proud and a little teary. His gaze fell to the entrance of the pub and his heart stopped.

Standing at the bar was a woman with chocolate brown hair and deep brown eyes. She cried and her hand covered her mouth. In her eyes Edward saw the same terror he felt. Totally shocked, he looked at his friends. All of them the same expression in their faces.

Alice was the first to speak: "Bella?"

* * *

The song touches me everytime I listen to it... I had to use it :)


	2. Somewhere Only We Know

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own any of this and I'm still not a native speaker. Sorry for any mistakes in grammar, pronouncing or slang. Feel free to correct me any time :)

So, here is the first chapter. I'm not that satisfied with the beginning… but you have to start somewhere, right? ;) Enjoy and I would love some Reviews

"Do you have everything you need for school?"

"Yes."

"Do you know the directions to school?"

"Yes."

"It's the red brick building on the right side of the main road."

"I know."

"Have you…"

"Yes, Dad. I have everything, I find the way and yes I'll find the building because it's the only big one in the whole town."

"Sorry, Bells."

"It's fine, Dad. I'm fine. Don't worry. Please?"

Charlie Swan mumbled something about _teenager_ and took a sip of his coffee. Bella rolled her eyes. She knew, her father cared and he wanted her to feel welcome and home in Forks. He was as nervous as Bella, but he had other reasons. For the next two years he had his teenager daughter under his roof and he probably had the worst nightmares. But he didn't had to worry. Bella was far from being a badass teenager. She was quiet, shy, a bookworm and didn't go to parties. She hadn't done this in Phoenix, so why should it change in Forks?

Two days ago she arrived here. A small town in Washington State, where it was raining almost every day. After her parents' divorce her mother moved to Phoenix with her. At the time, Bella was not even one year old. Her mother met Phil and they married two years later. Now they started a world trip and Bella moved to her father, to finish high school.

"You'll find new friends soon. The kids here are good. So far, no one made any trouble."

Making trouble in Forks sounded far too impossible for Bella. In Forks wasn't much to do. There was only one diner, a small grocery store, a laundry, a hairdresser and an outdoor store, which sounded very exotic for this small town. But there were many hikers in the area so the owners made good money.

Her dad said goodbye and went to work. He was the chief of police and married to his job. When he wasn't working, he was fishing with his friend Billy or they watched football games on TV. Once a week Charlie went to the diner for dinner with his friend. Bella didn't mind, she could handle things very well on her own. She had school, homework, taking care of the house and she would make the dinners.

Bella washed the dishes and looked through the kitchen window into the gray and foggy morning. She already missed her mum and the sun.

Half an hour later Bella drove into the parking lot of Forks High School and parked her truck in front of the administration building. The car was a present from her father. She loved it immediately, despite the fact that it was old and rusty. "The truck has charm", she told her father. She walked through the big double doors and entered the office. An elderly woman with a big bun on her head and small glasses smiled at her. "You must be Isabella Swan. We've been expecting you. My name is Mrs. Cope. I am the secretary of the school principal." She handed Bella her timetable and a map of the school. Plus a list of all her teachers and their contact details. "Here is a list of our social activities at school. Each student has to attend at least one group." _Oh great! "_ We have a drama group, a debate club, a choir and a school band. They are looking for a new member by the way", Mrs. Cope smiled at her. "Can you sing, dear?"

Bella loved music. Not a day passed on which she hadn't headphones plugged in her ears. For her, music was the best way to express feelings. She had, depending her mood, different playlists on her iPod. A wild mix of rock, alternative, pop and classic music. But singing? In front of people? Nope… no way!

"I'll think about it. Thank you."

Bella studied her schedule and went to her first class. History, English, math, lunch, sports and biology. Unfortunately, she couldn't avoid her sport class. She had two left hands and feet. Her feet often bend… in flats. No kidding! She had stopped counting how many times her mother had to drive her into the ER.

When the bell rang for lunch she was already used to the looks of the other students. She felt like fresh meat in a cage full of wolves. In the cafeteria, Bella looked for a place to sit and saw a girl of her age with short black hair. She waved to her. _To her?_ Maybe to someone behind her? She looked over her shoulder but no one followed her. "Bella, sit with us", the girl called out to her. Bella walked to a table full of people. All eyes on her. "Hi, I'm Alice. I knew you were coming today. I hope your day was okay so far? Everyone was being nice? This is my boyfriend Jasper, Jessica, Angela, Ben, Mike and Eric." _Oh wow, breathe, girl!_

They all smiled and waved. Bella sat down and put her tray in front of her. "Hi, I'm Isabella Swan. But everyone calls me Bella." In that moment she remembered that Alice already called her by that name. She looked at Alice confused. "How do you know my nickname?" "Oh, I figured. The moment when I heard of your arrival, I knew we would be good friends and friends need nicknames!" _Wow, she's kinda creepy._ For a few minutes they ate in silence. "Alice, where is your brother?", the brunette girl to Bellas right side asked. "Oh he is in the music room… again! I swear, someday his hands will turn into piano keys." Alice sighed dramatically. "You have a brother, Alice?" Bella asked. "Yes, he's my twin. He's in the school band. My other brother, Emmett, is in college. He graduated last year." Bella nodded and her gaze fell back to her food. So far, she felt good. Maybe she already found a group of friends. "Hey, Jess, any ideas for the next edition of the paper?" The conversation went on and during the rest of lunch, Bella answered some of their questions, got an invitation to Angelas birthday party and to a shopping trip with the girls to Port Angeles. _Maybe some things will change_ , Bella thought. The people here were different. The girls at her old school were too superficial and arrogant. She never fit into a group and she became an outsider pretty fast. Here, she felt welcome and already as a member of this group.

She survived her sport class, in which she didn't hurt herself or others. Next class on her schedule was biology. The only free seat was next so a very good looking boy with wild coppery hair. He didn't look up when Bella sat down. He was focused on his note pad, writing and drawing something that looked like … notes? Bella took a short glance on his notes. She cleared her throat. "Hi, I'm Bella." The boy looked at her with the piercing green eyes. _Well, hello handsome._ "I'm Edward. Welcome to Forks. The place to be." He grinned. "You are Alice brother, right?" "Yup. So, you already met the little pixie? I'm sure she was all over you as soon as you stepped into the cafeteria. I have to apologize for her, she can be very possessive." "Oh no, it's fine. I'm glad I had people to talk during lunch. The first day can be cruel." Edward nodded in agreement. "Tell me about it. We moved here three years ago. Like fresh meat in a cage of wolves, right?"

After her last class Bella walked through the corridor looking for the room of the school paper. She still had to choose a group and writing was something, she really liked to do. When she turned around a corner, she heard someone playing a piano. Curious, she looked through the glass window in the door and saw Edward sitting on a grand piano. The room was full of instruments and the walls were covered with posters of rock bands.

She carefully opened the door and entered the room. Edward looked up and winked at her while his fingers still drove over the keys. Bella blushed immediately and looked down at her shoes. He stopped playing and studied her for a moment. "Do you like Keane?", he asked her. "Yeah… I think this is their best song. Please don't stop. It sounded really good."

Edward started the song from the beginning and Bella leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. She moved slightly to the beat. As Edward began to sing, it took her breath away. His voice was soft, like velvet but powerful.

 _I walked across an empty land  
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand  
I felt the earth beneath my feet  
Sat by the river and it made me complete_

 _Oh simple thing where have you gone?_  
 _I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_  
 _So tell me when you're gonna let me in_

 _I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_  
 _I came across a fallen tree_  
 _I felt the branches of it looking at me_

 _Is this the place we used to love?_  
 _Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?_  
 _Oh simple thing where have you gone?_  
 _I'm getting old and I need something to rely on_  
 _So tell me when you're gonna let me in_  
 _I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin_  
 _And if you have a minute why don't we go_  
 _Talk about it somewhere only we know?_  
 _This could be the end of everything_  
 _So why don't we go?_  
 _Somewhere only we know?_  
 _Somewhere only we know?_

The last notes still hung in the air as Bella opened her eyes.

"You really have a good voice." Her heart stopped. "Excuse me?" "Your singing voice is really good. Actually, we're looking for a singer and you would really fit." _Oh fuck… did I sing out loud?_ "I'm sorry, I was lost in the song. I didn't know I was singing out loud." Edward put his hand on her shoulder. She immediately felt the heat rising inside her. But pushed all silly thoughts aside. "Don't be. I really liked it." He gave her a bright smile and she almost forgot to breathe. _How can someone be that hot?_ "So, are you interested?"

From that day on, Bella was a member of the band. She really liked the boys. Jasper, Alice boyfriend, was the drummer, Mike played bass and Eric the guitar. Edward was the singer and played the piano. At first Bella was beyond scared to sing but the boys told her every time how good she was and slowly she lost her shyness. She and Edward really got along and they became good friends.

Alice always watched them from afar, smiling. "What are you thinking, darlin'?" Jasper asked her, as she was sitting on the couch in their rehearsal room. "Oh I was just thinking that there is so much attraction between Bella and Edward. They would make the perfect couple." Jasper laughed. "You and your presumptions." Alice padded his hand and winked. "You'll see."

* * *

The song mentioned is Somewhere Only We Know by Keane

I'll try to built the story around my favorite songs.


	3. Already Gone

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own any of this and I'm still not a native speaker. Sorry for any mistakes in grammar, pronouncing or slang. Feel free to correct me any time :)

Hello :) Now, we're back in the present and we'll see Bella's POV from the events in the pub. Enjoy :)

* * *

Shivering, she wrapped her cardigan tighter around her body. It was a cold night and the air smelled of rain. Not very surprising for Seattle. Impatiently, she looked at her phone. Still no message or call. He wanted to pick her up 20 minutes before. Sighing, she stuffed the phone back in the back pocket of her jeans.

If he weren't such a good friend for her, she would be mad for letting her wait. But Bella couldn't be angry with Jacob. She owed him too much. He was already tired of her constant lines of "thank you's" and "sorry's". "That's what friends are for, babe", he always answered. But Jacobs was more than a friend. He was her soulmate, not in a romantic way, but he was her other half.

Her mother always thought that someday they would be a couple. There was a time, when they tried but kissing Jacob was like kissing a brother. He was family, he was _home_. But he could never be her love. Her heart was already been taken many years ago.

Speaking of home. At the beginning of the year, Bella wanted to change her life. She wanted to live again and she wanted to be happy again. So, she promised Jacob to come to Seattle with him to start all over. Two months ago they moved into their loft. Jake got an offer for a big building project which he managed. He had a fancy office in a big building with a view all over the city.

Bella's boss offered her the opportunity to stay in her publishing company and to work from home. She got all the scripts sent by e-mail. With Jacob being at work all day, she spent most of her time alone.

Alone meant thinking, thinking meant suffering.

So far, Seattle wasn't the solution she'd hoped for, but patience was never her strong suit.

"You have to get out of here and meet new people", Jacob said at dinner the other night.

Bella sighed and stared at her food not really being in the mood for a lecture.

"Jake, please…"

"Paul from work told me about an awesome pub. I think it's called Pitcher's. They have an Open-Mic-Night."

Bella froze and memories overwhelmed her. _Music, singing, spotlights, his voice…_

"Jake, I can't sing it's too hard. I never even thought of singing again after I left." Her voice trembled.

"Oh babe, you do sing. Don't lie to me! I hear you, even if you don't want to admit it."

He was right though. When she couldn't bear her feelings anymore she sang.

"But that's different. Singing in front of people… that was our thing. Our moments." Her voice trailed off with every word.

Jacob pulled something from his pocket and put it on the table. It was a crumpled piece of paper. Bella cringed. _Damnit!_

"I found this in the trash yesterday. Will you talk about it?" She shook her head.

"Bella, please… you wrote this song for a reason." She didn't say anything for a while and Jacob stood up with a sigh.

"I'm watching you now for almost five years. Nothing has helped you get over this. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you. But don't you think it's time to finally live again? I want you to be happy! I want to laugh with you, to see you enjoy life!" She winced at his words and tears welled up in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jake." He knelt before her and put his finger under her chin.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. Look at me, please." Looking in her sad brown eyes, Jacob's heart broke. How could a human being suffer like that?

"I know, we've talked about this at least a hundred times. But Bella, if you still love him so much, why don't you try and talk to him?"

Tears ran down her cheeks. Actually, she should have dried out long ago for crying over years and years.

"I can't. I hurt him too much and then, I would have to tell him everything, Jake. I couldn't bear the many questions they all will have. I just can't…"

Jacob took her in his arms and rocked her, whispering soothing words into her ear.

After cleaning the kitchen in silence, they sat on the couch watching a movie but neither of them really focused. Both too absorbed in their thoughts.

"Bells?"

"Hmm?"

"You always tell me, that you owe me. Do you mean it?"

"Of course, I do. You saved me, Jake. I wouldn't be here without you."

"Then come with me to the pub and perform your song."

Now she sat on the steps in front of the house and waited for Jacob. When he finally came, Bella was a nervous wreck.

"I'm so sorry babe, but the traffic was horrible." She sat in the car and they drove off.

"Nervous?" Jacob smiled and patted her knee. He was glad, that Bella was finally persuaded. It took some time and several attempts but after telling her, that it will really help her, she finally agreed. He knew it'll be like therapy. Singing was like breathing for her. The only way to express her true self. When she'll finally let out the words she wrote, she'll feel lighter and free. Maybe she can finally let go.

"Yeah. It's weird. I'm about to do what I loved for so long and it should feel easy, it should feel familiar. I was nervous before every gig but this feels different. Maybe it's because I will be alone on stage. He was always there with me." She tried to swallow the pain.

"When you're on stage, then look only at me. Sing as if I'm the only person in the room. Do you think you can do this?"

Bella nodded.

They arrived 30 minutes later and entered the pub. It was so crowded that they stayed at the entrance.

"I get us drinks", Jacob shouted over the noise and disappeared in the crowd. Bella looked around the pub, trying to orient herself.

The stage was already occupied, but she couldn't see much. She wasn't very tall and in front of her were too many people.

Suddenly she heard a scratching sound coming from the microphone.

"Hi, my name is Edward and my song is Already Gone."

She froze. _No!_ She tried to push through the crowd to take a better look at the stage. The first notes sounded through the speakers, filling the room.

 _Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all the memories they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye  
Even with our face held high  
It never would have worked out right  
We were never meant for do or die_

When she finally saw him, her heart remained standing. It was him…it was Edward. Of all the places where he could be in the world, he was here… in Seattle, in this pub.

He looked exhausted and tired…It hurt her deeply. This was all her fault.

 _I didn't want us to burn out, I  
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop_

 _I want you to know  
It doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
But someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone_

She remembered those words. They were burned into her memory. She remembered how she wrote this letter. Angry and desperate. Everything in her screamed that she should remain. Her heart wanted to stay, but her head knew that she had to go. Thus, the head won over her heart. Today, she knew it was a mistake. They should've talked and find a solution. Together. As they had always promised. But it was too late. How could he forgive her? She couldn't even forgive herself.

 _Looking at you makes it harder  
But I know that you'll find another  
Doesn't always make you want to cry  
It started with the perfect kiss then  
We could feel the poison set in  
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive_

 _I want you to know  
It doesn't matter  
Where we take this road  
But someone's gotta go  
And I want you to know  
You couldn't have loved me better  
But I want you to move on  
So I'm already gone  
So I'm already gone_

She saw his tears and she wept with him, feeling his pain. Bella had hoped that he would've moved on and would be happy. But she was so wrong.

 _Remember all the things we wanted  
Now all the memories they're haunted  
We were always meant to say goodbye…_

Edward finished the song and looked at people in the front row, trying to smile. Panic went through her body. What if everyone else is here, too? She wasn't ready to face them all.

Then he looked up and as if being pulled by an invisible force, their eyes met.

* * *

Thoughts? :)


	4. I Want What You Have

**Disclaimer** : I still don't own Twilight or the songs I mention

Back in the past :) the songs I used are from the movie If I Stay. There is a fictional rock band and I really like their songs. I'll link the songs at the end. Enjoy :)

'Guys, you have to be on stage in 15!'

Alice shouted coming to the back stage through the thick red curtains in the big theatre hall of forks high.

Today was the annual christmas party and Alice was one of the organizers.

With the clipboard in her hands and the headset on her head, she looked so out of place.

'Ali, are all those things necessary? You look insane. No one needs this stuff in this small school.' Edward laughed.

'Shut up dumbass.' She slapped his arm

'Someone has to take care of everything and so far I'm the only person capable of organising an event. I'll tell you, nothing would work without me. So where is your singer?'

Alice took a look on her watch. 'She has 10 minutes.'

She turned on her heels heading back to the dance floor.

'Jessica! I told you no pinjatas! This isn't any children's birthday!'

'Has anyone seen Bella?' Edward asked his band mates.

Everyone shrugged their shoulders and they looked around the backstage area. Tonight was the first gig with the whole group. They were all excited and practiced everyday for almost a month. Bella was really nervous these last days. All the encouragement of Edward and the other boys was helpless. Bella was really talented but her stage fright was a real problem. They already refused some requests of town events or the band had to perform without her. But they only sounded good with her and Edward together. Their voices were the perfect harmony and they communicated without speaking so they could act impulsive when one of the guys gambled the melody away or someone forgot a part.

'I'll go and check the bathroom.' Edward headed out and into the hallway.

He opened the door to the lady's room. Sitting in the back corner was Bella. She rocked back and forth whispering unintelligible words. She had her arms around her knees which she had pulled tight to her body. Her forehead rested on her arms. Edward knelt down in front of her and put his hands on her shoulders.

'Sshh, Bella. Everything will be fine. Don't be scared... You can do that!'

She looked up he could see the fear in her chocolate brown eyes.

'But if I screw up it will reflect bad on all of you!' Edward sighed. They had this conversation over and over again.

'And if you don't? Bella, sometimes you have to overcome fear to experience something special and exciting! I know you love to sing and you enjoy it. Believe me, tonight will be so much fun!'

'But..'

'No buts' he interrupted.

'You promised me, you would try. Please, do it ... for me?' Edward looked at her with a big pout and puppy eyes.

With a heavy sigh, Bella pushed herself off the ground and straightened her outfit.

'I hate when you do this puppy face!'

'Only because you can't resist my cute eyes.' He fluttered with his eyelashes.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 'Ok let's do it.'

Edward hugged her. 'Thank you. You won't regret it' he whispered in her ear and a shiver run down her back.

'Edward! On the stage, NOW!' Alice shouted through the hallway.

Each member took his place on the stage and Edward gave Alice the sign to open the curtains. the audience was already waiting eagerly and went wild with excitement.

'Hi guys, we're the band of forks high and we will rock your night! Have fun!' Edward spoke through the microphone.

He looked at Jasper who held his drumsticks over his head.

'One, two, three.'

He began to play, followed by Mike and Eric. Edward took his microphone and looked at Bella, who blushed immediately and looked on the ground. For a second he thought, that she couldn't handle it but then she looked up and nodded. He smiled and

started to sing.

 _I was lookin' for somethin' to sink my teeth into_

 _I didn't know what I wanted,_

 _But now I do_

Bella danced to the beat and joined Edward.

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

 _I was a head-to-toe dressed up in other stuff_

 _Now I know my other clothes ain't good enough_

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

 _You make it looks so good 'cause you know what's up_

 _You know exactly what to, yeah_

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

 _Give it to me_

 _Give it to me, uh_

 _I was a looking for somethin' to sink my teeth into_

 _I didn't know what I wanted,_

 _I never do_

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

 _You make it look so good 'cause you know what's up_

 _You know exactly what to, yeah!_

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

 _I want what you have,_

 _I want what you have now_

 _Give it to me_

After the last tone died out, the people applauded and cheered. Bella and Edward smiled like idiots, breathing heavily. Edward gave Bella the told-you-so look but Bella just rolled her eyes showing him the finger. He answered her by blowing her a kiss.

'Are you ready for more?' Edward shouted. Immediately the next song started.

 _I've gotta say I'm feeling better than I should_

 _Don't got a lot but I know life is always good_

 _Oh, come on over, bring some friends, we'll have a time_

 _Don't got a lot but right now I'm feeling fine_

 _So many people rushing back and forth to work_

 _So many people walk around all faced and hurt_

 _Let's have a drink, let's cut it loose, let it unwind_

 _Someday we'll be looking back knowing we did it right_

 _We got tonight_

 _We got tonight_

 _Forever yours, forever mine_

 _I'm feeling good_

 _I'm feeling high_

 _I'm feeling like I'm never coming down_

 _I'm never coming down_

 _So tell me now_

 _Are you in or are you not?_

 _I don't wanna rule the world_

 _I just wanna sit on top_

 _Let's raise your glasses to the best and to the worst_

 _Here's to the feeling that you just can't put to words_

 _Now everyone's leaving and you're wondering what to do_

 _Now everyone's leaving_

 _It's only me and you_

 _You lean in close and whisper somethin' in my ear_

 _When I'm with you, my girl_

 _I don't know any fear_

 _We got tonight_

 _We got tonight_

 _Forever yours, forever mine_

 _I'm feeling good_

 _I'm feeling high_

 _I'm feeling like I'm never..._

 _We got tonight_

 _We got tonight_

 _Forever yours, forever mine_

 _I'm feeling good_

 _I'm feeling high_

 _I'm feeling like I'm never coming down_

 _I'm never coming down_

 _I'm never coming down_

 _I'm never coming down_

 _I'm never coming down_

Bella felt so good. Seeing the crowd and the band having so much fun made her so happy. She lost her shyness and even played with the audience. This night was a big success.

After hours of performing the band said their goodbye, exhausted from all the adrenaline. Backstage they had a big group hug.

'Great job, guys. We really rocked!' Jasper smiled to all of them.

They all started packing up the stuff back into their rehearsal room. After 30 minutes everything was back in its place and Edward locked the room.

Bella waited outside, leaning on his Volvo. He came to her giving her a big hug.

'You were amazing tonight!'

'Thanks Edward. Especially for your help. without you, I would've never gone on the stage. It was incredible and so much fun!' She beamed and it made his heart jump to see her so happy and frisky.

'No problem, Bells. You know, I'd do anything for you.' He winked and she blushed immediately.

'Let's get you home before I need my bulletproof vest for bringing you home so late' Edward said laughing.

They drove to Bella house in silence. After dropping her off, he waited a few minutes, watching her entering the house. Before she closed the door, she turned back and have Edward a little wave. He smiled and waved back.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text from Alice.

 _When will you finally tell her, that you love her, twin? A_

He rolled his eyes. Alice was one of a kind.

But Alice was right, he had to tell her ... rather sooner than later.

* * *

/Yg311gA_BE

/h5iAMveZNGc


	5. You Got What I Need

**Disclaimer** : I don't own Twilight or the songs mentioned.

Hey :) We're still in the past. I totally forgot to mention the band's name from the last chapter. It's Willamette Stone. The songs are I Want What You Have and Tonight. You have to check out the songs on YouTube. In this chapter I used the song You Got What I Need from Joshua Radin. I watched The Lucky One on saturday (not the best movie I have to say. Zac Efron had the same expression on his face during the whole movie) and I heard the song and knew, it would be perfect for this chapter.

Enjoy :)

* * *

Bella looked at her reflection in the mirror of her bathroom. She was getting ready for the big christmas party at the Cullen house. Very year Esme and Carlisle Cullen threw a big dinner for their friends and family a week before Christmas.

It was Bellas second Christmas in Forks. It would be the last one as a student of Forks High. They would graduate the next year and Bella already got accepted to the University Of Washington with a full scholarship. Alice would go to a fashion school in Seattle and Edward and Jasper still waited patiently for their acceptance letter of Udub. Edward and Alice parents already planned on buying a nice apartment for the four of them, so they could've their own place with plenty room and they could concentrate on their studies without thinking about rents and jobs. At first, Bella felt uncomfortable and she didn't want to take the offer but after many conversations with Esme and Carlisle and her dad, she accepted.

‚You are like a daughter to us, Bella. Our home is your home, please remember that', Esme told her.

‚Are you ready to go, Bella?' Charlie stood in the hallway dressed up in suit.

‚Dad, wow. You look great!' Charlie huffed and pulled on his tie.

‚I really don't like to dress up. I look like a penguin!'

Bella laughed, bended his tie again and buttoned his jacket.

‚You know how Esme loves to throw parties where everyone has to come in suits and nice dresses.'

Bella herself, was wearing a dark blue dress with white dots and a braided light brown leather belt around her waist. She chose light brown flats and a matching small shoulder bag. Her hair fell down in curls and exceptionally, she was wearing make-up.

'Let's go', Charlie said, getting his jacket. Bella took the bag with all the presents for the Cullen's and headed outside in the freezing cold.

The actual holidays spent Bella with her mother and Phil in Florida. The two took a break from their trip around the world to spend Christmas with Bella. Charlie had to work double shifts for his colleagues with family. In his eyes, a family belongs together under the Christmas tree. Since he was alone for so long, he was used to it. Last year was no exception, so that Bella due most of the time spent alone. She didn't mind, but Charlie insisted that she went to her mother this year. Bella felt bad, but Charlie soothed her.

'I love what I'm doing and I love to give my colleagues the chance to spend the holidays with their families. It makes me happy to make them happy.'

The Cullen house was decorated as a winter wonderland with thousands of lights and reindeers standing on both sides of the entry. Even the trees in the front yard were decorated like christmas trees.

'That's what I call an overkill' Charlie growled. Bella padded his arm.

'Please behave, dad!'

Esme opened the door. 'Bella, Charlie! I'm so glad you came. Come in, it's freezing outside.'

The living room was full of people talking, laughing and drinking champagne. Esme hired waitresses for this evening, who walked through the room, offering drinks on trays. Soft jazz music was playing in the background. Everything was decorated with fairy lights, lanterns and white lilies.

Bella greeted Alice, Edward and their big brother Emmett and sat down on the creamy leather couch. Emmett brought his girlfriend Rosalie, who was also Jaspers big sister. They lived in Seattle, where they went to college. Bella really liked Rose. She was the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. One might think she would be arrogant, but Rosalie was good-hearted. However, she was very direct, so not everyone could handle that.

'Where's Jasper?' Bella asked Alice. 'He's getting his guitar. He and Edward want to perform a few songs before dinner.' Alice clapped her hands in excitement, bouncing up and down on the couch.

'Mom's wish is our command', Edward said.

When Jasper came back with his guitar, he and Edward put two chairs in the middle of the room. All guests gathered around them. Jasper began to play the first notes and Edward got in a little later. He closed his eyes and began to sing softly.

 _Baby you, you got what I need  
Baby you, you got my sunshine  
Baby you, you got what I need  
Baby you, you got my sunshine_

To hear Edward sing, let Bella's heart flutter. For her, only they both existed in the room. She tuned out everyone around her.

 _When I see you it's a beautiful world_  
 _But when you're gone, I want you in my arms_  
 _I'm telling you the last time_

 _Baby you, you got what I need_  
 _Baby you, you got my sunshine_

He looked at her and smiled. Could he mean her? Bella was sure that he would never return her feelings. He was much too good looking for plain Bella. He could have any girl. Why should he chose her? Shaking her head, she quickly shook off the thoughts. _Focus_ _!_

 _Every night I notice you're all alone  
Wonder you might  
Let me love you I'm on fire  
Can't you feel my desire  
I want to take you higher_

 _It's a simplest thing,_  
 _Always so hard to see_  
 _I want to be_  
 _The one and only making you feel love_  
 _Oh darling I need love_  
 _It's all I can dream of_

 _Baby you, you got what I need_  
 _Baby you, you got my sunshine_  
 _Baby you, you got what I need_  
 _Baby you, you got my sunshine_

 _You got my sunshine_

Edward ended the song, still looking at Bella. She blushed and looked at her feet, like always. He sighed and hoped that she'd understand every word he sung. The song was only for her.

After dinner, Esme asked the guests to sit in the living room. The waiters served coffee and cake. Bella was talking with Rosalie when someone tapped on her shoulder. Bella turned her head and saw Edward, who gave her his crooked smile.

'What's up?' She tried to act casual but her heart already pounded fast in her chest.

'Can you come upstairs? I want to give you your present.' Was he nervous or did Bella just imagining it?

'Whoa bro, wanna get laid?' Emmett teased him. Rosalie slapped the back of his head. 'Shut up, Emmett. Grow up!' He rubbed the back of his head. 'Sorry, baby. But he has to finally...' Rose didn't let him finish. 'Shut the fuck up!' she hissed.

Totally embarrassed by his brother, Edward took Bellas Hand and they made their way upstairs to Edward's room. They sat down on his bed, both unsure about how to begin.

'Your present first.' Both said at the same time.

'Go ahead', Edward said.

Bella gave him his present and he opened it immediately ripping off the paper. It was a leather-bound notebook. On the left side it had music sheets and on the right side empty pages for notes. 'For your songs', she said quiet.

'It's perfect. Thank you', he answered, looking deep in her eyes.

He cleared his throat and reached behind him. He put a small box in her hand. Slowly, she opened the white bow and the silver paper. It was a jewelry box.

'Edward, you didn't have to spend so much money', she protested. She opened the box and inside was a delicate silver chain with a silver pendant in the shape of a clef.

'Oh my god, this is beautiful.'

'We met through music and it'll connect us forever. I thought that it'd a perfect symbol of our friendship.'

'It's perfect, thank you so much.'

'May I?' He reached for the necklace to put it on her.

He sat behind her on the bed. Bella watched him through the mirror on opposite the wall. She took up her hair so that Edward could put the necklace around her neck. She touched the pendant with her fingers. They both looked in their eyes through the mirror, the air full of electricity. Slowly Edward brushed her hair from her shoulder and rested his chin on it. She closed her eyes, breathing in his fragrance and enjoyed being so close to him.

'Please tell me that you feel it, too' he whispered in her ear. She slowly opened her eyes, watching his pleading look on his face.

'Yes' was the only word she got out.

He kissed the side of her neck, her cheek, her temple. Goose bumps spread across her whole body. She turned to him and put her lips to his. They kissed tenderly.

When they broke apart, no one spoke a word. Edward cupped her cheek and she leaned into his touch. Minutes passed, or hours. Bella lost her sense of time. She felt like she was dreaming.

Edward took her in his arms and hugged her tightly. He stuck his nose deep in her hair, inhaling her shampoo.

'I love you' he whispered.

Bella smiled, tears welled up in her eyes. She never thought that he would feel the same way.

'I love you, too.'

He broke the embrace. 'This is the best gift you could've ever given me.'

They walked down the stairs, holding hands and smiling from ear to ear. Alice saw them first.

'FINALLY!' She cheered.

All eyes turned to the couple on the stair. Normally, Bella hated being the center of attention. But not tonight. Tonight she was the happiest girl on earth and nothing could destroy the joy.

* * *

Sooooo, finally :) Any thoughts to Cheesward? Too much over the top?


	6. Say Something

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own any of this.

So, we're back in the present. Enough happiness LOL it's time for some sadness. I have to admit, I stole some lines of Edward from Breaking Dawn Part 1. They are too perfect for this chapter. Let me know if you found out ;) In this chapter I chose the song Say Something by A Great Big World.

Special thanks to Isabela for your reviews :) I'm so happy that you like my story!

* * *

 _Previously…_

 _Standing at the bar was a woman with chocolate brown hair and deep brown eyes. She cried and her hand covered her mouth. In her eyes Edward saw the same terror he felt. Totally shocked, he looked at his friends. All of them the same expression in their faces._

 _Alice was the first to speak: "Bella?"_

Edward jumped off the stage and immediately, he was surrounded by his friends and family.

'What is she doing here?' 'Did you know?' 'Is she living in Seattle?' The questions didn't stop. But Edward noticed none of them. His gaze was still on Bella. No one could take the eyes from the other.

Edward watched as a large-built, dark-haired man approached Bella. He followed Bella's gaze and saw Edward. His eyes looked surprised and he immediately shook Bella's shoulders and tried to talk to her. Slowly Bella turned to the man and he took her in his arms. His eyes were still focused on Edward.

Anger spread through Edward. What was she doing here? Did she follow him? Did she want to show him how well she is doing without him? While he sits on the stage pouring his broken heart out?

Alice felt his anger and put her hand on his upper arm to get his attention but he shook her off.

'Don't.'

'Do you think she's here on purpose? Edward, please. Don't you see the look on her face? She didn't expect seeing us here. Don't jump on wrong conclusions.'

'Edward' Carlisle interfered. 'Your mom and I will wait in the car to give you some space. I think you'll have a lot to talk about.'

'We'll go, too.' Emmett patted his brother on the shoulder. 'Good luck.' Everyone made their way to the exit, when Edward came out of his rigid.

'Stop.' They all turned around. 'Ali, can you stay? I … I don't know if I can handle…'

Alice's expression got gentle. 'Of course.'

She took his hand and pulled him to the spot where Bella was still standing. Frozen in shock.

For a brief moment, all four faced silence. Alice cleared her throat.

'Hi Bella. Long time no see.' She couldn't fight the ironic undertone.

Bella forced a smile. 'Hi Alice… I've missed you.' Edward snorted. 'Yeah.'

Jacob tried to defuse the situation and introduced himself. 'Hi, I'm Jacob Black. I used to live in La Push. I don't know, if you remember me. We've met occasionally.' He stretched out his hand to Alice and they shook hands.

'Yes, I remember.' She smiled weakly.

Jacob tried to shake Edward's hand too but he ignored him completely. Instead, he looked at Bella angrily.

'So, you're with him now? Seriously?'

'What?'

'You came here after five fucking years? With him?' Edward was furious. There were plenty of reasons why he hated Jacob Black.

'No, Edward. This is a misunderstanding. I didn't know you were here. I mean, I know you lived here but my dad told me, you left.'

Edward didn't listen any further. He turned to his sister, grabbing her hand. 'Let's go, Ali. I don't have anything to say.'

Bella tried grab his arm, but only got a hold of his shirt.

'Don't touch me!'

Alice pulled him away from Bella and tried to calm him with soothing words. When he turned around, Bella and Jacob had disappeared.

They wanted to get straight to the exit when a familiar voice came through the speakers.

'Hi, my name is Bella. I'm here to try to forget some things I've done in the past.'

Edward froze in his movement.

'I hurt someone really important and I'm so sorry. He showed me the real meaning of music.' Her voice trembled with emotion, trying to stop the tears from falling.

What Edward couldn't see, because he was still standing with his back to her, was the necklace Bella still wore. She cupped the pendant firmly with her hand as she spoke, trying to protect all the memories it involved.

'Anyway, I don't deserve his forgiveness, but I have to try to move on.'

Edward felt as if a knife stabbed right into his heart. 'Oh you did…' he mumbled.

'So, here is my song. Maybe you can stay and listen.' Bella said the last words directly to him.

She sat down on a chair in the middle of the stage and took a guitar.

 _Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
_

 _I'll be the one, if you want me to.  
_

 _Anywhere, I would've followed you.  
_

 _Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
_

 _And I am feeling so small._

 _It was over my head  
_

 _I know nothing at all.  
_

 _And I will stumble and fall.  
_

 _I'm still learning to love  
_

 _Just starting to crawl.  
_

 _Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
_

 _I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.  
_

 _Anywhere, I would've followed you.  
_

 _Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
_

 _And I will swallow my pride.  
_

 _You're the one that I love  
_

 _And I'm saying goodbye.  
_

 _Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
_

 _And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.  
_

 _And anywhere, I would have followed you.  
_

 _Oh-oh-oh-oh say something, I'm giving up on you.  
_

 _Say something, I'm giving up on you.  
_

 _Say something..._

The song ended and Bella tried to find Edward in the crowd. He was still standing at the door with limp shoulders and his head down. Alice was at his side. Facing the stage. She tried to smile with teary eyes. Bella jumped off the stage and walked in their direction, followed closely by Jacob, who was standing next to the stage. The DJ put on new Music and many guests started dancing. Most of the people in the pub didn't noticed the whole drama that was going on around them.

Bella stopped in front of Alice and Edward. Alice couldn't help but to take her in her arms.

'Thank you, Alice' Bella sniffed.

Edward stared at both of them in disbelief. 'You can't be serious.'

He grabbed his jacket that Alice was holding and left. Bella wanted to follow him immediately, but Jacob held her by the arm.

'Bella, this is useless. He's too angry. Give him space.'

She tried to break away from his grip, but he held her too tightly.

'Jake, please... I have to talk to him. Now!' Her voice was full of despair. Too great was her concern that she couldn't catch Edward anymore.

'Let her go. She has to talk to him' Alice said, trying to convince him with a pleading look.

Heavy hearted, Jacob finally let go of her. Sadly he looked his best friend in the eyes. 'I just want to protect you.'

'I know. But I have to at least try and talk to him.' Jacob nodded. Alice put her arm through his. 'I need a drink. How about you?' She took one last glance at Bella and formed with her lips: 'Go!'

Bella hurried out of the pub into the night. It rained but she couldn't care less. _How cliché_ , she thought.

She ran until she finally saw him. He walked with heavy steps and a bowed head along the street.

'Edward, wait! Please!' She shouted his name over and over until he finally stopped. He clenched his

hands into fists, but didn't turn.

'Edward, Jacob isn't boyfriend. We're just friends.'

Silence.

'Please, talk to me.' She still talked to his back. She reached for his shoulder but stopped right before she touched him, too afraid of his reaction.

'Why the hell are you here?' He said through gritted teeth.

'I want you to understand...'

Now he turned to face her, his jaw tense and his expression hard with anger.

'You fucking left me! What is there to understand? Your intentions were pretty clear.'

Frustrated, Bella ran her hands through her hair.

'I know I fucked up! I try to make things right. I know I hurt you and I know you hate me.'

He snorted. 'I don't hate you. You listened to my song, didn't you?' Bella nodded.

'Then you know, I still fucking love you. This is what I hate. That I can't let go!' She tried to touch his arm, but he took a step back.

'I'm hurt, Bella.'

'I know' she whisperd.

'No you don't. You can't imagine how hurt I am. I'm hurt, because you've given me no choice!' Now he yelled.

Bella was startled and jumped slightly.

'Bella, we were supposed to be partners. Remember? But you decided this on your own.'

His next sentence was only a whisper.

'You've decided to leave me.'

Tears ran down Bellas cheeks.

'Maybe we were supposed the meet tonight. To make things right again.'

'Supposed to meet? Like fate? That's bullshit, Bella. And I don't think I have to make _anything_ right.'

'Edward, I meant it. In my song. I suffered too, you can't imagine what I've been through.'

He laughed ironically. 'Oh please, enlighten me.'

'I still love you too. I never stopped. I had my reasons to go. Maybe they were stupid but I can't change what I've done. I will just explain...'

'Don't bother. I don't wanna know.' He interrupted.

'Like I said... Say something and I'm giving up. I don't deserve your forgiveness. I fucked up but I want to tell you the reason...'

Again he didn't let her finish.

'You're giving up? When did you even _start_ and _tried_? You only left a damn cryptic letter!' He breathed heavily and pinched the bridge of his nose. He took a deep breathe, trying to calm himself down. After seconds, which felt like hours, he looked up at her.

'I'll tell you something... Leave me the hell alone!'

With these words, he turned around and walked away from her.

Within seconds, her world broke apart. Again.

* * *

I know, my chapters are short. But I'm not a person who can write for hours and hours, describing every little detail. I'm always a friend of short and sweet. All that counts is, the most important stuff is mentioned. I must confess, that when I'm reading ff's, I skip passages which are too long *ducks and hide*

Did you found the stolen lines? I love the scene (apart from the circumstances) because Edward finally showed some anger. Normally, he suffers always quietly.


	7. Today

**Disclaimer** : I don't own anything.

Hi guys, sorry for the little delay. The first chapters came really fast because my head was full of ideas. Now my muse is on holiday LOL Thank you so much for your reviews. I know the song Say Something isn't 100 % correct for Bella's emotions but I think (and hope) the message was clear. I know some of my readers really hope Bella had good reasons to leave. It'll have nothing to do with her not being good enough for Edward (that would be too easy). But reading your reviews made me question some of my ideas. I went through several ideas but I decided to stick with my original idea and hope not to disappoint. I won't update daily. I will update as often as I can but sometimes my head is empty and I will not write anything just for updates. I want to be satisfied with my chapters and sometimes this takes some time.

In this chapter I mention the song Today by Willamette Stone (AGAIN – but it fits if you know the movie and the scene where the song is being played).

* * *

Bella stood in the middle of her room, surrounded by boxes. Boxes, which contain the last two years of her life. She didn't come with many things to Forks. Only one suitcase and a backpack. She hadn't much and was not really fond of material things. But with the Cullens in her life, just everything was different. She had tons of cd's and books because of her and Edward's passion for music and literature, her closet was full with clothes because of Alice and her addiction for shopping. Esme gave her a lot of decorative items for Christmas, birthdays, (almost always without any special occasion), as she was an interior designer. Posters of her favorite bands covered the walls, everywhere hung postcards from her friends from holidays or with her favorite quotations.

Sighing, she took the last poster from the wall and rolled it up. She never would've thought that she would miss Forks. Above all, she would miss her father and Jacob. Jacob was Billy's son and became one of her closest friends, to the disappointment of Edward. He couldn't stand Jacob and was often jealous of their closeness. Jacob was a free spirit. He loved nature, the sea, the beach and spent most of his time tinkering on all technical matters in the house. He often helped Charlie if something had to be repaired because it had to work a lot. Thus, Bella also spent much time with him. She never had romantic feelings for him. He was more like her brother. Nevertheless, she tried to split the time with him and spending time with Edward and the remaining Cullen's. She wanted to avoid unnecessary trouble.

"Are you ready, Bella?" asked Charlie and entered the now empty room. He looked around and his eyes were sad. Today was graduation and soon Bella would move to Seattle with Alice, Jasper and Edward. Charlie wasn't happy with them living all under one roof. Especially his young daughter with her boyfriend, but Edward promised that he wouldn't knock up Bella prematurely. It was the most embarrassing conversation in Bella's previous life.

Charlie wasn't a very emotional person. But to know that his daughter had her last day of school and soon moves to the big city, made him sad.

He took his daughter firmly in the arm. Bella, first scared of the unknown gesture, hugged him tightly.

"I am very proud of you. I'm sure, you'll find your way in life and be happy."

"I'll miss you dad."

"Me too. Now, let's go, your mother is waiting in the car," Charlie said awkwardly.

The ceremony was a long event of speeches and acknowledgments. After finally all students had their certificates, they all met in front of the school building for the usual photo sessions with the family. Bella's mother and Esme cried big tears and marmot frequently of "children" and "grown up too fast" and a lot of "back when they were little."

The Cullens invited Bella and her parents to a big BBQ to celebrate the events of the day. The boys were in the living room playing playstation. Emmett challenged Jasper and Edward to beat his highscore in some sports game. Rosalie was with Alice to help her pack. This would take a while since Alice room was stuffed and she wanted to take the majority of it to Seattle. Rosalie came downstairs several times to ask Esme for more boxes.

"How can one tiny person have so much clothes? She can wear a new outfit every day. For at least two years! And don't get me started on her shoes!"

"What can I say? I have some spoiled kids," Esme said while preparing salads for the BBQ with René.

Charlie and Carlisle were in the garden to prepare the grill. The only one who had withdrawn from all, Bella was. She sat on an old swing, away from the house and the terrace that Esme and Carlisle had never broke down. She was deepened in her thoughts when someone sat down on the second swing.

"It's an emotional day, isn't it?"

Bella looked up and saw her mother smiling at her. In that moment, she realized how much she missed her mother. Although she was mostly the more mature one of the two, but her mother was always the one with the wise words.

"Tell me, what you're thinking. Any doubts?" René knew immediately when something was off with her daughter.

"No, that's not it. I am very sure that I want to get my degree in English. I'm at my desired college and I don't have to get separated from my friends."

"Then what is it?"

Bella sighed and slowed the swing down with her feet.

"I don't know. It feels weird to leave dad. I know he can live on his own, he did it for a long time, before I moved in. I think I have cold feet. College will be so different from high school."

René took Bella's hand.

"It'll be so much fun. You all learn new things and you'll grow with these experiences and they'll pave the way for you to grow up. You're not alone with his. You have your friends with you."

Bella smiled and nodded. Her mother was right and she finally looked forward to the new adventures coming along the way.

Sometime later they were all sitting around a plentiful set table on the terrace. It was a sunny day, which was rare in Forks. Carlisle knocked with a knife at his glass.

"I want to say a few words before dinner. Kids, first of all, congratulations on completing your high school education! I have been impressed with the determination, drive and hard work you have demonstrated these past years. I've been blessed by having the opportunity to watch you grow from children into a beautiful young woman and man.

Only yesterday you were short, bouncy, inquisitive little children and today you graduated high school and heading off to college. Though it may seem to you that it's taken forever to reach this point, it happened all too quickly for us. I'll admit that it saddens me to see you start the rest of your life, however it cannot compare to how happy and proud that I know you are so well prepared and dedicated to your dreams. Never lose sight of those dreams and never compromise anything to reach them. I could spend a lot of time providing advice, but I'm sure you'll figure it out along the way, which is the way life is. Edward, I couldn't be prouder, that you'll step into my shoes and become a doctor."

"Grind!" Emmett shouted.

"Thank you Emmett for your wise words." Carlisle continued. "Alice, I'm also so proud of you, my little girl. Since you were little, you knew which way you wanted to go. You will be successful, I'm sure."

Everyone at the table had teary eyes was moved by Carlisle words.

"And finally Bella. You came into our lives to years ago and immediately became a daughter to us. I think I also speak for your parents when I say that you will go your way and become successful with what you'll do. All of you are diligent and determined, so we don't have to worry about your future. I raise my glass to Alice, Edward and Bella."

"That was a beautiful speech, darling." Esme dabbed at her eyes with her napkin.

Later in the evening everyone sat around a small campfire. Jasper and Edward played guitar and Emmett toasted marshmallows. It was a nice atmosphere.

Edward began to sing and after the first few lines, all sang along.

 _Today is the greatest_  
 _Day I've ever known_  
 _Can't live for tomorrow,_  
 _Tomorrow's much too long_  
 _I'll burn my eyes out_  
 _Before I get out_

 _I wanted more_  
 _Than life could ever grant me_  
 _Bored by the chore_  
 _Of saving face_

 _Today is the greatest_  
 _Day I've ever known_  
 _Can't wait for tomorrow,_  
 _I might not have that long_  
 _I'll tear my heart out_  
 _Before I get out_

 _Today is the greatest_  
 _Today is the greatest... Day_  
 _Today is the greatest... Day_  
 _That I... Have Ever... Known_

"I love you," Bella whispered in Edward's ear. He smiled and kissed the top if her head.

She leaned against him. She looked forward to the time that lay before them, and she was sure that nothing could come between them.


	8. Friends

**Disclaimer** : I still don't own this.

For the first time no song. Enojoy :)

* * *

Bella cried for two days. Jacob tried his best to help her but nothing worked. He brought her food and water only to find it untouched afterwards.

„Bella, you have to eat! I don't want to bring you into the ER because you'll collapse from exhaustion."

He felt helpless and blamed himself for bringing her to the pub in the first place.

On the third day, Jacob sat at the kitchen counter for his breakfast, Bella finally came out of her room. Still in her pyjamas she sat next to Jacob, leaning her head on his shoulders.

„Is there some coffee left?"

Jacob didn't hesitate twice and jumped up from his stool.

„Sorry for my behavior. I know you were worried."

„No, _I'm_ sorry for taking you there. For asking you to go there..." Jacob lowered his head, too ashamed to look her in the eyes.

Bella grabbed his hand. „You couldn't know that he would be there, Jacob. He could have been everywhere. We went there for a reason. We _had_ to meet him."

„But look at you now. You're miserable and hurt."

„No Jacob. That is what I deserve. Maybe some day he will forgive me. But for now, I have to let him go."

She squeezed his hand and hopped off the chair. „I need a shower! Please, don't blame yourself anymore. I will get better, I promise. I had a lot to think these last two days and I think you were right. I need to talk to someone."

Jacob immeditately felt better. „Really? I can ask Leah to get me the number of this new practice. Her brother is the pediatrician there. It's a community practice with two psychologist, a gynecologist, some general practitioners and the pediatrician."

„Sounds good." She turned and went to the bathroom. Jacob felt that Bella was was still off. It was good that she finally wanted some professional help but he still could do more.

He started to clean the dishes from breakfast, when he saw her phone was still on the counter. Jacob looked around to be sure that Bella won't surprise him and grabbed her phone.

„Some day you'll thank me," he murmured, knowing that he had just committed a breach of trust.

He scrolled through her contacts until he had the number he was looking for, hoping the number would be still the right one. He hit the call button and waited.

„Bella?"

„No, it's Jacob. I need your help."

After he hung up, he deleted the caller list and put the phone back to it's original place on the counter.

At the next day Bella needed distraction. Jacob was at work and she already finished the latest script for her boss. She started with the laundry, she cleaned all the windows and wiped the dust in every room. Just as she wanted to start the vacuum cleaner, the doorbell rang.

Bella wiped her dusty hands on her jeans and opened the door. She couldn't believe her eyes. In front of her was Alice beautiful and stylish as always with two coffee to go and a bag from Starbucks.

„Hi Bella. Can I come in?"

Bella, still in shock, looked at her former best friend with wide eyes.

„Uhm... Of course." She stepped to the side, to let Alice in.

„This is a lovely place. You're so lucky to get this. The real estate market in seattle is highly competitive."

Bella could only nodd. She still couldn't believe that Alice was in her apartment and talked to her like nothing ever happened.

They sat down on the couch.

„I brought coffee. I figured you still breathe for caffeine. Cappuccino with low fat milk and a teaspoon of cocoa on top. Alice handed her the cup with a bright smile."

„Thank you Alice. Wow, you still remember my favourite."

„Of course. I also brought blueberry muffins from Starbucks."

Alice was one of a kind.

„Why are you here, Alice? I mean I'm glad you are but after the other night I thought I'd see you ever again."

„I know and I'm so sorry for Edwards behavior."

„No, he has all the right to…"

„Bella, stop. Let me explain. After you left, I was beyond angry. I thought I was you best friend and you'd tell me everything. We all lost a daughter and a sister. My mom cried for weeks."

The pain in Bellas chest grew with every word. But she had to hear it.

„Seeing you on Friday brought all the feelings back. I was angry at first, as you might have noticed."

Bella nodded.

„Anyway, after hearing your words and your song, I knew you suffered as much as we did. That should be enough punishment. Everyone can make mistakes, Bella. But everyone also deserves a second chance."

„I don't. I hurt you all too much."

„You do, Bella. Some us us might need some time to finally forgive you but I already did."

„She squeezed Bella's hand a flood of relief went through her body and she felt so much lighter. Bella thought Alice would be the hardest part, besides Edward."

„I'm so glad, Alice. I missed you so much."

They fell into each others arms and after many tears, they laughed again. It felt like home to Bella.

„Alice, how is he? What happened to him?"

Alice sighed.

„After we finally moved here he never came out of his room. He spent the rest of the summer in his

bed, listening to sad songs and he really drank too much. Jasper and I needed much time to put him back

together. Piece by piece but in the end he finally wanted to start over and start college."

Alice stopped talking, unsure what to say next.

„What happened, Alice?"

„Actually, it's not my story to tell."

„Please, Alice. I need to know. I won't tell anyone. My lips are sealed."

„Fine, I'll tell you the short version. It's hard to talk about this time.

After several months at college, he met people, who weren't the best influence. They loved to party not and they needed more than just alcohol for their fun.

Sometimes Edward wasn't home for days. I died of sorrow every single time he didn't show up. He shut us out completely. Jasper, my parents and me, his twin. I lost all connection to him. I felt so lost and miserable. I tried to talk sense into him but he was the stubbornness on two feet."

Bella couldn't believe what she was hearing. She looked at Alice with wide eyes, her mouth hung open.

„He lost his scholarship and got suspended. Carlisle was furious and put Edward in rehab for the following summer. Thank god it helped and he came back to his senses. He left Seattle afterwards and attended NYU with Carlisle's help. He has now a degree in music and English and is teaching both on middle school here in Seattle."

Tears ran down Bella's face.

„Oh my god Alice, I'm so sorry. This is all my fault. I never wanted him to shut you out, to take the wrong paths. He wanted to step in Carlisle's shoes. Become a doctor…"

„Sssh, Bella. He said to me once, he loves his job. Working with kids is his passion and so is music. He never felt good with medicine. He thought he owes dad to become a doctor. He only chose this for him. He is happy with his decision."

„And Carlisle?"

„My parents want us to be happy. No matter what education we chose."

„Was he addicted to the drugs?"

„Not really. He never took the really hard stuff. Mostly joints and alcohol but the rehab was good though. I'm glad he still had a little sanity inside. We're good again. His heart is still broken. But he will forgive you. I know that."

Bella was exhausted from all the news she heard. She would never have expected this. It was too much to take. Alice felt Bella's inner struggle.

„I'm still your friend, Bella. I know you regret it all and I'm sure you had good reasons. Maybe some day you'll tell me all about it. But I think Edward should know first."

Later that night, Jacob found Bella asleep on the couch. He took her into his arms and carried her into her bed. As he wanted to close the door and turn off the lights, he heard Bella's sleepy voice.

„Thank for calling her, Jacob."

He smiles. Of course, she would figure it all out.

„I'm glad your not mad that I stole your phone."

„No, I'm not. I'm happy you did."

„So, it went well?"

„She's still my friend. That's all that counts for now."


	9. Sorry!

I'm sorry guys, but I had a family emergency so that I can't update for a few weeks.


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